I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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