did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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