We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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