You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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