it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
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Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
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Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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