It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
