that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
