The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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