I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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