i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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