I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
