What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
