he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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