I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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