I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
