how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
