When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
