Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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