Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Every concussion has its silver lining
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
