this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
