yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
