So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize