I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just forgot I was standing up.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
