you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize