you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
