I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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