I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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