He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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