Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dignity is for republicans.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
