i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
