Who wears a wallet chain?!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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