you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
