Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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