it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
