I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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