Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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