Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize