Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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