I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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