he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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