So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
