Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize