On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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