I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
