I am puke
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize