did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I have fence marks all over my body
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
