Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
