Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
