new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
