Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
