I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
