I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
