when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he shaved USA in his pubs
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
