definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
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Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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