it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
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talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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